"Looking for Lovely"

Friends, I want you to know that it is nearly 9:00 PM on Thursday evening, August 17th. I’ve procrastinated this post worse than I’ve ever procrastinated in my life. I have not wanted to write it, because I don’t know what to write.

I’ve thought of a million different ways I want to end. I wish I could blame my tardiness in writing on those million different thoughts. The truth is, I just don’t want this to end. God has been so present and clear during this process, and I am not ready to close it out.

Everything comes to an end, though. Things must end so that new things can begin. Tonight, I’m staring at our book and asking God to show me where to go. As I flipped pages, I realized Annie included a rather extensive “Thank you” section at the end of our book. So, I read that! If you haven’t, why don’t you read it too.

Reading Annie’s messages to people, places, songs, and experiences made me realize I could spend some time in thankfulness, too.

I want to thank the leadership team that trusts me every year to choose a book and lead you through summer book club. Most years I don’t know the book until the last minute. Every year, I end up writing the content as I study with you. I do not take this level of trust for granted. Their willingness to turn over all control has allowed me to lean into God’s direction alone. What a gift!

To a host of friends that have spent countless hours in dialogue with me over spiritual and theological ideas, you have given me time and space to deconstruct. I know that’s a scary word these days. I’m not afraid of it anymore. My relationship with God remains very intact and secure. Some of the beliefs I held on to strongly for much of my life needed a place to exit. You’ve given me space to wrestle with what stays and what goes. Thank you!

Like Annie, I owe a mountain of gratitude to my therapist, Crystal, and to my spiritual director, Tim. Goodness gracious, y’all, I simply do not know where I would be today without these two people slowly walking with me as I unraveled. Looking back, I am experiencing “lovely” like I’ve never experienced before, because Crystal and Tim loved me enough to push for deep and genuine healing. Their strength and perseverance have led me to encourage anyone in a crisis to seek professional help. I have no shame for the hours and dollars invested. I am grateful.

Hester Jane, THANK YOU for offering beautiful images to enhance our summer study. Your posts each Saturday encouraged me to slow down and reflect on the week’s material. Those were valuable moments. We all appreciate you.

Finally, I want to thank you, Soul Sisters. You show up! You are present and accounted for study after study. Your activity is my accountability, and that is valuable. Last October, many of you visited us here in FL for retreat. At that time, I was right in the middle of my unraveling, or “broken crazy” as Annie called it, and unsure how I could show up for you. I was fragile that weekend, and you were like a healing balm to my soul. You taught me that I was loved and accepted even though I was broken and unfinished. My life was so uncertain at that time, but your acceptance was secure. That weekend started a true journey towards wholeness for me. I cannot thank you enough!

The end of Annie’s book was marked by gratitude. Our journey is just beginning, though. The study is ending so the adventure can begin. Let’s go look for lovely with a heart full of gratitude! I pray it’s a journey that never ends.

Who do you need to thank today? I promise I am not fishing for compliments. Make this request personal. Who needs to be thanked for the part he/she has played in creating space to see lovely in your world?

Next week, we have a fun week planned for you. Five different writers will be sharing favorite moments and important “take-aways” from “Looking for Lovely.”

God, we are so thankful. We are thankful for You, and we are thankful for each other. There is so much lovely in the world and in our individual worlds. You are the initiator of it all. I pray we never forget this summer. I pray our hearts have been permanently transformed to see the lovely in all things. Amen.