"Looking for Lovely"

“And not only that, but we also boast in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope.” Romans 5:3-4

It’s very possible this chapter, “A Picture from Tel Aviv,” is my favorite in the whole book. It’s weird. I kept reading paragraphs over and over. The content and the title don’t seem to be something I’d think could become a favorite.

This morning, I believe I uncovered the reason I’ve connected with it so positively. Annie said,

“As you know, I’m a pain avoider, and yet I have a bad habit of tossing out the memories I need because they also hurt. But I’ve realized there is something beautiful, and something that opens your heart in news and deeper ways, when you open yourself up to experience pain as well as joy. I think that has to be part of all of this. Maybe that’s what it means to rejoice in our sufferings as Paul says in Romans 5? Maybe when we make our hearts available to the hard moments and allow ourselves to experience God’s love in new ways, we are also increasing our capacity to love others.” (Page 148, Looking for Lovely)

Can anyone else relate to a deep desire to avoid pain at all costs? I bet you can. I think we are wired – like all animals – to avoid pain, to run from and defend against anything that could hurt us. I agree with Annie, though. Allowing myself to experience pain along with joy has opened my heart to a new level of living. Working through the painful parts of my story with friends and with people trained for helping has been excruciating and joy-filled.

The best gift of all has been meeting Jesus more deeply and genuinely in the pain. That’s the true joy of suffering. Without pain and suffering, we would never look to Jesus. Without hurt and discomfort, we wouldn’t be forced to lean in and receive His care and healing.

In that space, I’ve found Him to be faithful, loving, and true. His compassion for me increases my capacity to demonstrate love and compassion to others. And it makes me excited for an eternity waiting for me where I will be with Him forever, where joy will be made complete.

“Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more. I also saw the holy city, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared like a bride adorned for her husband. Then I heard a loud voice from the throne; Look, God’s dwelling is with humanity, and he will live with them. They will be his peoples, and God himself will be with them and will be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more; grief, crying and pain will be no more, because the previous things have passed away.” Revelation 21:1-4

ahhhhh.... What happens to your emotions when you read those verses?

In this chapter, Annie allowed us to see that dealing with her broken crazy actually prepared her heart to be open to this new group of people in Israel. She was grateful to have spent the time looking at painful things. Stuffing the crazy and ignoring the broken places hadn’t served her well. This photo in Tel Aviv now reminds her that she only hurt herself by avoiding, dismissing, and ignoring, because she was her very best with these new friends. She experienced life on that trip. The difficult journey of healing was worth it!

There is joy in mourning. There is! We must be brave to collect those moments. I pray we will be.

God, our natural tendency is avoidance. We don’t like pain. We certainly wouldn’t choose it. Please, show us where we need to pay attention. If there are painful details of our stories that need to be addressed so that the fulness of joy here can be experienced, make us brave. Amen.